Sorry that I have not posted in a while. I have been swallowed up in the darkness of depression. Just when I thought things could not get any worse, they of course exploded. My 14-year old son was caught doing drugs our local YMCA with some older kids. My husband told me the story and the entire time he was talking the world around me was fading to black. My body was numb, my skin tingling. I could feel myself slightly shaking as I struggled to hear what he was telling me. After he finished telling me what he saw he asked me if I was okay. It was then that I broke down. I went to the bathroom and fell to the floor. I cried my eyes out for a while and then I just got mad. I was mad at my son, mad at myself, but mainly just mad at God.
For almost my entire life I have had terrible things thrown at me. It seems to never end with me. That afternoon on the bathroom floor I let God have it. I told Him I was so upset that bad things are constantly happening to me. I asked Him when it was my turn to rest. Will I ever get a break? “I’m exhausted, Lord!!” I told Him. Then I gathered myself together and went back to the kitchen to serve dinner.
My husband took my son to the police station that night to let an officer talk to him. While they were gone, I got my daughter in the shower while I tried to force myself to eat something. I was listening to KLove on the kitchen radio. All of a sudden Plum’s song Need You Now came on. I’ve heard the song before but it never really stood out. However that night it was like she was yelling the lyrics at me. A strong peace washed over me and I actually felt lighter. She was singing the words I had been saying for years! It was then that I knew that things were going to be okay.
“I know You can do anything, and no one can stop You.” (Job 42:2)